Not Me
by Tanith2011
Summary: Steve and Danny are not themselves! A challenge response story...


_*The quote used from the writer's challenge is in **bold**._

_** Not Me **  
><em>

** "If you do that, I will personally guarantee you will never get off this rock alive!" **the tall dark haired detective grated as he held his revolver steady at the man who stood several paces away from him, holding a hostage.

** "**Youpull that trigger, McGreggor, and your China-man will be dead as dead!" the retort came from the man holding his hostage in front of him, with a pistol held at his temple. He had one arm secured firmly across the front of the oriental man's throat, restricting his movement as well as his breathing.

_"It's McGarrett! You'll never get away with this, Jefferson if you_ – " the restrained man managed to say in a choked voice.

"Shut up!" Jefferson growled into his victim's ear as he continued to eye the detective in front of him.

"Son, why don't you put the gun down, nice and easy. You don't have to add a murder rap to the robbery charge!" the man that was McGarrett by name tried once more to talk down Jefferson using what he believed to be a calm voice. He just needed a little more time to let his second in command position himself to get a clear shot. He could just make out the blonde detective climb up into the tree behind Jefferson, carefully getting into position. _Come on Danni! Please get it right this time! _McGarrett thought pleadingly, as he watched the figure slowly aim the scope on the rifle at the gunman's back.

"Last chance Jefferson!" the detective snapped in a voice devoid of emotional feeling as his eyes locked on the man threatening his colleague's existence.

Silence and stillness followed for what seemed an eternity before a resounding _pop _could be heard from above. The dark blue suited man gazed up to where his young blond companion was perched. He gasped and cursed as he saw the figure tumble down, snapping the thin branches and landing on the ground on all fours with an _umph! _The rifle fell at the sharp shooter's side.

"CUT! " the very distinguishable bellow was magnified to such a volume through the bullhorn, that those standing by watching the spectacle cringed and covered their ears with their hands, "We almost had it! What happened to _you_? You were not suppose to shoot yet!"

"Well, I didn't mean to! I slipped. I knew I should've worn the other shoes," the blond figure straightened up and brushed off the grass and dirt from the olive green suit.

"Oh boy! It's a good thing Chin's on holidays," a voice in the milling crowd groaned, "I just wish Kono went with him."

"I can not even begin to fathom why anybody in their right minds would want to film a movie about _us?_" The taller man dressed in a bright red and blue Aloha shirt replied.

"Jenny said it was for a good cause. I suppose a small production company has to start somewhere, Steve. And they did choose someone remotely resembling you!" the curly haired man said.

"Danno, he is definitely just _not me! _He hasn't even ironed his shirt! And my hair does not look like a tornado would not upend it. He's probably wearing a wig. I don't like the script. There's too much dialogue. _Dead as dead? _ Come on, Danno, who talks like that?" Steve shook his head as he continued to stare at the small cluster of local talent. He tried to ignore the all too familiar sound of laughter in the distance. Looking down at the booklet in his hands, Steve skimmed through the script and frowned at the word "McGreggor" which had been crossed out rather crudely and replaced with "McGarrett, "They can't even remember names, let alone act out one scene right! Mind you, it might've helped the cast if someone had spelt my name right in the first place!"

"Steve, Jenny did spell it out over the phone but apparently Mr Freemont thought you might've preferred a more - "

"A more what Danno? What's wrong with my name?" Steve cut across Dan's words and indignantly questioned him.

"Er…nothing, _nothing! _It wasn't me that said it," Dan started to stammer nervously and shuffled his feet as Steve's blue eyes bore through him with such intensity he half expected deadly rays to shoot out from them and zap him on the spot.

"Out with it Danno!"

"Ok, well Mr Freemont said that - he said – McGreggor sounded more modern and easier to remember in Hollywood," In truth, Dan recalled Mr Freemont's exact words were, _"What kind of a name is McGarrett for a detective? No, no that won't do, Miss Sherman. Don't worry I'm sure he'll have no objections…" _

"He did, did he?" Steve glared at the short balding man with the bullhorn ahead of him.

"Well Steve, at least you aren't wearing high heels and lipstick. If anyone should be complaining, it'll be me! It could've been a lot worse for you, Steve. They could've altered your gender. I mean look at the person who will be playing me! Count your lucky stars, at least you're not a _girl!_" Dan Williams, in his yellow Aloha shirt replied as he stood right next to Steve. The pained expression conveyed more than words ever will. Gazing straight ahead at the tableau, Dan looked almost mortified to catch a glimpse of the curvy figure with long blond hair wrapped in tight embrace in the arms of the man who would be playing as Steve McGarrett in the under budgeted movie based on Five'O at its best.

Somewhere in the outskirts of the set, the pealing laughter continued. "I really don't think this is all that funny. You would think that after I gave him all that extra work at the office to do, he'd see the seriousness of the situation!" Steve squinted to see past the barriers at the Hawaiian man who was hunched over guffawing uncontrollably and endlessly.

"I could shoot him, Steve," Dan feigned a serious tone.

"Thought did cross my mind, Danno, but there are too many witnesses and we're not armed today. Besides Danni's rifle's not much good!" Steve winked playfully.

"Steve, it's bad enough Kono is never gonna live this down," Dan retorted a little too sharply that Steve cocked his eyebrows at him causing the young detective to blush even more deeply. When Kono had arrived three hours ago, the excitement of being made a Hollywood icon had died on his face after discovering no one remembered to cast him. Both Steve and Dan who were more sceptical than excited consoled their companion, however within seconds of watching the opening scenes in which the fictitious Steve and Danni made their debut appearance, Kono had stared wide eyed in utter bewilderment before a big toothy grin spread across his face followed by his bursting into great fits of involuntary laughter. The cast refused to continue and Steve had no choice but to ask Kono to step off the set. However it did not stopper the Hawaiian's hysterical episode.

"At least Chin had a pretty decent enough guy to star as him and he gets to be away from this madness!" Dan moaned.

"Yeah, some people just have all the luck!" Steve replied, making a small mental note the next time Jenny comes up with what she says is "for a good cause", he would be more cautious before accepting anything.

PAU

*_Hope everyone who read this first time enjoyed the extra bits I added this time! Mahalo _


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